Of December.
Dark evenings, darker mornings, and we inch closer to midwinter proper. Devon has yet to feel the real bite of winter cold this year – it’s been incredibly mild, such that while we’ve had the stove lit, we’ve also had the stairs door open, letting the heat drift upwards to the (unheated) bedrooms. The lime upstairs is still going off, we think, taking its time since it was put up on the new lath work in August, and creating strange patterns of damp-looking limewash from time to time as the warm air from downstairs makes its way into the eaves.
Things to make, things to eat (peppermint bark, in this case). Most of the shopping done (we’re going easy financially, so no huge trips, really, anyway), and the house reasonably ordered as we look forward to Quercus’s mother visiting soon. Oh, we are genuinely looking forward to another pair of hands. The small girl, who will forthwith be known as Hero because it’s getting confusing remembering to differentiate between ‘small’ and ‘smaller’, has been quite challenging of late, and while Quercus and I know that it’s a question of adjusting to new family dynamics while at the same time being three, and also being born of two parents who are, shall we say, determined, that knowledge is not making the day-to-day battles any easier, frankly. There is a lot of willpower in this household, and although we are sure that it’s the adults who are in charge, sometimes getting that message across takes quite a wee while, and no small measure of self-control and anger management. Hey ho – we shouldn’t have joined etc. etc. I am trying not to take the constant struggles for power and attempts to stage minor coups personally; I think it is just that Hero has reached that age when she is aware of possibilities, and the limitations to what she perceives is very frustrating, so she exerts control over the things she can control, i.e. the time it takes her to put shoes on, whether or not she is hungry/thirsty/tired, whether or not she can stand up/do her coat up/find something… The list is endless, and super-annoying in the short-term, but ultimately, I keep telling myself that she will not be doing such things when she’s five, and wow, how quickly that time will come around, if the first three and a half years are anything to go by. I am not always quite the parent I want to be (that calm oasis of maternal love), but I am trying my best, and hopefully the result will not be too too awful. I do wish that it wasn’t such an uphill struggle at the moment, that said; I feel myself to be constantly – though I know, rationally, that this is an exaggeration – at war with Hero, and I hate that, but I also feel equally strongly that I am her parent, not her friend, and that this means sometimes I have to be the Person Who Says, albeit kindly and respectfully and patiently, and she has to be the Person Who Does, albeit in a few minutes, in her own way. But oh, for it to happen just once in a while without the back-and-forth negotiating, or the wailing, or the howls of despair. This Too Shall Pass.
In amidst the challenges we are managing some organised chaos festive buggering-about. We have made stained glass windows à la Claire, and confections à la Orangette. We have baked saltdough stars for a wreath (our front door is getting to look positively civilised these days, as Quercus limewashed the house again this year, and repainted the sticky molasses-like stuff on the bottom of the house, and we have even now got a door which shuts properly and which you can only see daylight through in tiny cracks…), and used red paint and wooden stamps on brown paper for festive wrappings. I have replaced my obsession with needle-felted pumpkins with felt lantern-making; I made thirty-two of the little blighters for autumn, and have taken down those only to put up a miniature cream version for winter. (And no. No. We have not got a season table. No. For some reason, they make my toes curl. Instead, we have the rather ancient twiglet shelves. They are so-called because genuinely, the uprights look like giant twiglets. And on the twiglets lurk toys and something to indicate the passing of the seasons. That is as twee as it gets, frankly, without my need for a sick bucket becoming overwhelming. I know: a part of me is missing, and I am a horrible, awful person. Meh.)
I also realise that I haven’t put up any pictures of the upstairs of the house since Mirth, the name by which the smallest of our number will now be appearing here, arrived in August. I must remedy this, for lo! we hath walls, and ceilings, and even limewash! Quercus has been working quite hard lately to get the stairs finished off before Chrimbly; as a result, there are now bastard little cat paw-prints in white gloss on the carpet here and there (animals are such a joy), and hopefully we will have a completely-done-bar-the-stairs-carpet-because-flat-surfaces-are-hard-enough-let-alone-things-which-go-up-and-down first floor, at which point there will definitely be a picturethon (and yes, of course that is a word). Gratuitous baby pictures follows:
(How? How? How is she FOUR MONTHS OLD? It is not possible, I tell you: the laws of Physics – they be brokeded.)
For the meantime, I go, to make a fourth stocking, to mix up a Dark Solstice Cake, to sort out two more rolls of wrapping paper, to make yet more peppermint bark as presents, and to contemplate the genuinely horrific prospect of a grocery shop at some point this week. And you, dear reader? Full of festive spirit, or bah-humbugging in the corner?
So busy!
What a beautiful door.
I have door envy too; and wreath envy. 4 months! Mine will be 20 and 18 next year – I have no idea how that happened. I can’t possibly be that old, even though I feel about 80 most days.
I am too tired to be festive. I managed a tree, but it has no lights as the teenagers deemed it unworthy (too small they said) and there are no other decorations up. The cards only got send because the eldest teenager wrote them for me. I have bought all the presents and I have all the food we need – I have never understood the need of so many people to cram their houses full of stuff they don’t need and probably won’t enjoy. But all I am really interested in is the week off work, and the possibility of going back to bed in the afternoons for a nap. 4 days, and I am counting the hours!
Could you email me your saltdough recipe please? As in Now! I have recollections of pretty pictures of white sparkly stars but have trawled and cannot find them. Other recipes seem to look rather beige which, frankly, just won’t do. Thank you kindly.
Do I detect a change in parenting policy here? Or maybe it’s a change in expressed parenting policy. Whatever, it sounds good to me
It all looks very idyllic.
I’ll go back to my 5 FOTCR™ decorations now
Zerlina is very strong-willed, like her mother, and Eloise has always been fairly firm with her. As a result, things seem to be more harmonious there than when Weeza herself was little. I was pretty easy-going until things got to a stand-off and it took longer for boundaries to be set. There was a period, when she was about the age that Zerlina is now (same as Hero) when we had a real struggle. Funnily enough, I was thinking about it the other day and wondering if I’d ever written about it.
Oh, and I just get on with Christmas, not too bothered but go with the flow. I did all the decoration-making and baking when I was young, can’t be arsed now.
Your wreath is beautiful. Have you varnished the dough or are you letting the weather hdo what it will?
Mirth wears polka-dots well. Such a smile on Hero. Grandchild #1 is evolving into her mother faster than her mother did. :/ Handsome front door! I would be more in the holiday spirit if the weather was proper…
Your door is beautiful, I agree!
Festive spirit a-go-go here as I have just finished work for a week – and can now throw self into it all – frugal times for us, so there is a little production line of small ‘hampers’ under my tree full of home made stuff, and I have had SO much more pleasure making/wrapping and hamper stuffing, than I ever had shopping. I know it’s corny but it’s true! Am ridiculously excited as a result, but do have nagging suspicion that while family will make the right noises re homemade goods, they won’t be QUITE as excited to receive haha! oh well, they say it’s about the giving!! works for me…..
Have a great Christmas, I have enjoyed your blog so much.
So remember the three year old phase you mention. being 3 = being a stranger to logic and it’s not easy to deal with is it – hang in there!
Absolutely. I agree with the others. Children actually like having boundaries set. Then they know where they are.
Good that you’re making all these lovely decorations now, as you’ll be able to keep them until you get as old as me and not have to bother with new ones. Just watch out for moths.
And mice, we often lose a few decorations and find a delightful little pile of droppings in their place
Stunning front door! I agree with Jess above, homemade and simplified is far more rewarding than shopping! I like a slightly non-traditional Christmas myself! Cake/cookie baking(oh that dark Solstice cake!!!)and making decorations is the way to go. Wonderful lanterns , by the way! And sweet little Hero is acting the typical three year old; tug-of-warring with parents- oh yeah!
Hero sounds very much like my Moira who will be 4 in May. I’m also trying very hard to be firm but fair and make her understand that I am her mother and not her friend. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on various tactics to use. Moira started tantruming at about 21 months and hasn’t given me much of a break and so I fear I haven’t always handled it in the best way possible. Now my 16-month old is starting to tantrum. Maybe I just have angry girls? Good luck! I will be interested in reading about your progress.
Have a toddler is completely shit sometimes. It passes. It comes back again, obviously, but that passes again, too.
*passes gin*
And thank you for your support over at my place, it’s appreciated.
xxx
Hero and Mirth are such resonant names. Love the starry wreath and the felt lanterns
Small people really need their big people to stand firm at this time – boundaries for behaviour, manners etc help them to learn to control themselves and thus avoid the horrid panic feeling of being out of control. As for me, christmas jollity is sorely lacking as my back has well and truly buggered itself up – too much pre-christmas cleaning,sorting, log manhandling, reaching up etc – so now I am tottering short distances whilst doing lots of under the breath swearing. Christmas could be moved to my parents house unless I hugely improve by tomorrow. Knickers. But merry happy yule and christmasing to you and yours.
Goodness, toddler wills and salt dough wreaths, we’ve had teenage wills (and 6 and 4 year old ones) and salt dough plaques. Must be the Devon air. We’re really trying to finish building our home for 3 weeks time, but was still squeezing in a bit of sewing on the A38 on Christmas morning….silly really.
Hope the festivities went well. Here’s to a better year in 2012
I am so glad that you still share your blog. I’ve been reading “ducking for apples” for years and they have recently closed it. I completely understand needing to avoid all the ridiculous invasions they’ve been getting, but it does make me sad. “Sniff”.