As promised in the comments on the whole weekly-menu-planning shame, here is the recipe for the cheese and lentil bake. Frankly, it is heaven on a plate.

Lentil & Cheese Bake
Get mits on…
8 oz lentils (red work best, though the ‘possibly beans’ of the title refers to an experiment tomorrow)
About ¾ pint of water/stock
4 oz mature cheddar (don’t get fooled with the plasticky cheap cheese – you’d need approximately your own body weight of it to get any sort of flavour)
A very large onion indeed
A good ol’ handful of herbs
A large egg (or two Araucana ones, in our case)
A good ol’ sprinkling of garlic powder, or about five cloves of fresh

Then…
First up, boil kettle because attempting to boil that quantity of water on the hob? Lunacy. Sling lentils in with water (or stock if you’re feeling lavish) and boil to buggery (approx. ten to fifteen minutes). Meanwhile, fry up the onion in a spot of, well, whatever oleaginous compound comes first to hand. Sling in the herbs and garlic and sniff, deeply, reverently. Attempt to keep hands out of pan. Fail. Burn fingers ever-so-slightly. Chuck lentils in with onions et al, and grate the cheese in; let it cool down a tad, then in go the eggs, et voila! Entire gloopy mass into a shallow tin, something like an inch deep and maybe eight inches square, and whack in the oven at about 180°c for about twenty minutes. (Or half of eternity if using our oven.)

Tomorrow, I shall be attempting this one with beans instead of lentils, largely because I can. I’m mad, me.