Rhubarb Cake
(Especially for Liz.)
Main cakey bit:
2 cups of self-raising wholemeal flour
1 cup of milk (I used soya)
2 cups of rhubarb (chopped into small pieces, and raw)
1 cup of brown sugar
1/2 cup of butter
Generous splosh of vanilla essence
Large pinch of ginger
2 eggs

Topping stuff:
1 cup of dried coconut
1 (other) cup of dark brown sugar
1/4 cup of sunflower oil

So. Proceed thusly: 
Mix the butter and sugar together. I read the word ‘cream’ at this juncture, but simply couldn’t be arsed – that means a large whisk and a very long time – so took a shorter and less taxing route: squish the butter and sugar together with a fork until it’s one big sticky lump. Sling the vanilla in, and beat in the eggs. Add the milk, stirring vigorously, and be prepared for a quick curdle issue or two. If it does curdle, don’t fret: adding the flour will sort that out, which leads me seamlessly on to the next bit, which is, astonishingly, adding the flour and the rhubarb. Mix the resulting batter until there are no lumps, and then put it in a lightly-oiled (sounds like a stripper, doesn’t it?) eight-inch cake tin. The best sort for this, I find, is the ones which have bottoms wot come out – that way, you can smugly push the cooked cake out without covering yourself in topping bits. Preheat the oven to 180°c, while you fart about with the aforementioned topping. For ‘fart about’, read ‘just mix the ingredients together, then sprinkle over the cake mixture.’ See? Not exactly challenging, is it? The cake takes about forty minutes or so; you’ll probably want to let it cool for a few minutes before attempting to get it out of the tin. It goes down particularly nicely with a cup of Earl Grey.